When people strive for success, not everyone reaches where they aspire to be. They put in the effort but still don’t make it. Why? Here are three reasons.
The first reason individuals do not achieve success is because they believe that attaining wealth, power or fame is the measure of human achievement which on a deeper level of personal achievement may actually be a contradiction to their fundamental nature.
The second reason achieving success can be difficult is because success is not all about hard work. In fact, of all the ingredients of success, hard work is not one of them. Think about. It is difficult to sustain hard work without sacrificing some essential aspect of success due to depleted energy. No matter what you are trying to achieve you need a steady supply of energy to rise above difficulties, make good decisions, maintain health, escape burnout, and flourish as a person.
Thirdly, the building blocks of success in anything you desire to achieve are comprised of your character, personal empowerment and the elemental ingredients of achievement. When you lack some aspect of that foundation, success can be fleeting.
Character
Never discount the significant qualities that define your character.
Personal Empowerment
It is difficult to achieve success if you do not give enough thought to the things that empower you to create that success.
7 Elemental Ingredients of Achievement
The power to determine and shape your future personally or professionally hinges on seven fundamental ingredients of achievement which are:
Let’s explore these building blocks.
The media and history books give us a glimpse of success measured by wealth, power and fame. Those stories belong to a low percentage of elites that are idolized or envied, even feared. They might wield immense influence but they may not be the person of character that you want to trust with your life or children, be your spiritual advisor, partner, physician, or any person of significance in your life? Think about it. You do not place ultimate trust in the person who monopolizes the news, has unbridled ambition, insatiable greed or an intellect for evil. You do, however, have faith and confidence in the person who has the consistent discipline to make ethical decisions in good times, bad times and difficult situations.
It is easy to be misguided when we associate success with descriptive words such as intelligence, competence, courage, creativity, resourcefulness, or passion.
Yet, as Paul T. P. Wong Professor Emeritus of Trent University said in Touchstones of Character about these traits:
Without character, they could all be used to exploit others and perpetrate evil. For example, one can be an intelligent crook, a loving seducer or a courageous murderer. Nothing can be compared with character in terms of lasting values.
At the end of one's journey, when the applauses or jeers become distant memories, when victories and defeats no longer matter, all we possess is our character. In spite of our flaws and failures, if we are able to keep our integrity intact throughout the bruising battles, we can die with a smile on our lips and peace in our hearts.
The quality of life for both individuals and society depends on the character of its citizens. Character cannot be overrated, because as individuals and as a species, our survival and success depend on it.
If you are blessed with special talents and good fortune you may get to bask in the glory of world famous success. But, what about the kinds of success you need in the rest of your life to flourish as a human being?
Character defines the best of humanity. It is not a chattel that you can acquire by money or force.
Never discount the significant qualities that define your character. Your determined spirit, character strengths, compassionate heart and self-respect can bring you through unbearable circumstances. Character is the foundation for all enduring and caring relationships. In real life situations, it is your character that makes all the difference between living a life that is meaningless or achieving greatness through the significance of your veracity and uprightness.
Personal empowerment means taking control of your life and not allowing others to make decisions for you. It is about more than just your opinion or feeling about being able to do so. True personal empowerment requires you to identify what you want from life, and then take action to achieve those goals.
Is your life happening to you? Or are you actively creating the life you want?
Do you have the self-awareness, self-understanding, and the self-assurance to trust your decisions?
Self-empowerment begins with identifying your yearnings. Once you know what you want you can become the confident person you want to be, which give you the direction and courage to achieve whatever you aspire to reach.
Self-Awareness Sheds Light on your Intimate Space
You have a vast intimate space deep within you. It is a fascinating place where your genuine feelings, emotions, beliefs, internal conflicts, biases, and worst fears intermingle. This is also where hope, imagination, initiative, enthusiasm, passion, and love are yearning to thrive. These are all the things that make you tick and create meaning in your life.
That intimate space can be shrouded in utter darkness. To see the broadest and deepest rooms, nooks, crannies and layers of this intimate space you need to turn on the lights. Self-awareness is what flips the light on. A lack of self-awareness results in living an inauthentic and chaotic life, that is driven by untamed impulses, unconscious habits, and unquestioned beliefs.
Mind you, not all the lights come on at once. Some parts of the intimate space remain in the shadows until an experience acts like a flash of light that gives you a glimpse of a blind spot, unhelpful habit, weakness or fear.
Here’s are two examples:
Brian has a weight issue. At the end of the work day he goes on a massive food binge. Even after being diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes, he cannot resist his favorite snacks. One day, he realized that he does not binge after going to a sporting event or movie. He indulges after work. He asks, “Could work be stressing me out?”
Rose struggles to make friends. She has a compulsion to gossip about people behind their backs. One day, during a conversation with a coworker she is confronted by complete silence and a question she cannot answer. “Why do you gossip about other people?” Suddenly, a light bulb goes off within Pauline’s mind and she realizes why people avoid her and why she has no friends. There is harsh truth behind her coworkers question and it brings Pauline to tears.
Brian and Rose identified their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, in the present moment. They both experienced a moment of self-awareness.
Some people avoid self-awareness, especially when it is driven by disappointment, or failure. Adverse situations can be disheartening, but not one of those things prevents you from achieving something you desire or living a satisfying life. As it happens, you can learn a lot more from a setback or poor decision than you can from acknowledging privileges, satisfaction, and accomplishments. Awareness exposes a new and different layer of meaning that you can use for learning and growth which will underpin future achievement.
Another point that must be stated about self-awareness is that it is not a singular activity with narrow parameters. You could describe self-awareness as your personal mission to become conscious of the many impulses, unconscious habits, and recurring thoughts or feelings that emerge during your day. Once any one of these emerge in your consciousness it is deserves consideration.
Self-Understanding Smoothes the Way to Success
Most of us have not given serious thought to reveal what we really yearn for, what we care about, and what we need to feel satisfied. Once the light is on in your inner space, these are the things that you can identify and then self-understanding can take place. Self-understanding is the ability to honestly and objectively delve into this intimate space to understand your thoughts, feelings, and actions, as well as the why behind them. These are things that you can control. When you know how your minds works, you can identify your motivations. You can be intentional about influencing your thinking and feeling patterns. This improves your ability to live more intentionally have clearer direction and make better decisions as you move toward reaching your goals.
It is illuminating to explore your behaviors and the things that you spend your time doing. You take a close look at what you are passionate about, what experiences you have enjoyed or avoided, what gives you the most satisfaction, and what you cannot change about yourself. This is a real look at how you interact with others and how you wish to be perceived. In other words, zeroing in on what makes you tick and why.
It is one thing to gain self-understanding in recognizing your strengths. But, it is equally important to recognize mistaken beliefs, blind spots, a fixed mindset, unhelpful habits, weaknesses and fears, and to do so without judgment about any of it being good, bad, right or wrong.
Developing self-awareness and self-understanding takes the guesswork out of who you think you are. You can draw from evidence to figure things out and develop your sense of identity.
Self-understanding gives you the wisdom to accept yourself and be comfortable with your own company. Self-understanding helps you to acknowledge that your desire for achievement has to be greater than your fear of disappointment and failure.
If you've considered questions like the following at any length, you've already engaged in soul searching and become more self-aware and gained considerable self-understanding:
Self-Assurance for the Enthusiasm and Focus to Take Action
Your faith in yourself is of utmost importance for achieving success in life. With a firm belief in your abilities, it is much easier to work towards your goals with focus and dedication.
You know where you are going and nothing is going to get in your way. Of course, no one is immune to challenges, but when you are empowered by self-awareness and understanding you are more resilient, realizing that a set-back or hardship is simply a temporary stumbling block. You learn to believe in yourself and trust yourself to face difficulties head-on, knowing you will find a solution and will keep moving forward without losing sight of your goals.
You can be one of the confident individuals that takes action, exhibits a growth mindset, and is comfortable learning and developing their abilities.
Language and Empowerment
Language is a huge part of self-empowerment. Positive language is important to how you express yourself verbally and non-verbally to others. Be clear about who you are and your values and goals, and do not let others define you. Learn to be comfortable expressing your thoughts, ideas, and needs.
Language choice in self-talk is crucial to how you choose to define yourself. Research into language suggests that your self-image is reflected in the words that you choose. Using vague statements or passive language, particularly when speaking about the future, weakens the power you have to maintain control.
For example, saying that you ‘should’ behave in a certain way implies passivity and leaves room for recklessness in taking responsibility for your actions. It is more empowering to say ‘I will...’ and ‘I can...’.
Use language that indicates you have options and plans. You can say, “I don’t speak French,” which indicates you are automatically limiting your choice. Or, you can say. “I don’t speak French, yet. I can learn,” which displays confidence in your ability and helps you take steps to achieve new things.
Self-Empowerment and Kindness
Of course, if you are striving to attain personal empowerment, a positive attitude, setting reasonable goals, surrounding yourself with positive people and focus on your aspirations will help you keep an objective, goal-oriented mindset.
We would remiss if we did not mention how critical sleep and self-care are. When you lack energy, when your health is at risk, or when your overall well-being is suffering, it is very difficult to enjoy self-empowerment and be confident in your abilities.
Be kind to yourself.
The power to determine and shape your future personally or professionally hinges on these seven fundamental ingredients of achievement. Each one is within your power and control.
1. Be Present (living mindfully)
It simply means you are focused and engaged in the here and now, not distracted or mentally absent.
2. Be Strategic in Thinking
Thinking strategically means that you do not make rash decisions. Before you put your thoughts into action, you ask questions and listen. You examine your priorities. You consider your thoughts and proposed action through the lens of the past, present, and the bigger picture of the future.
3. Be Thorough in Planning
Thoroughness refers to not only having a plan, but knowing all the elements of that plan inside and out. It means attention to details and careful organization so that nothing is forgotten.
4. Be Resourceful in Problem-Solving
This is your ability to find and use available resources to achieve your goals. Being resourceful takes more than cognitive skill. It takes the ability to process information emotionally as well as intellectually. Being resourceful means developing the ability to look at multiple solutions to a single problem. It also requires a dose of skepticism. It helps when you have had to time to reflect on your problem-solving processes because it provides you with the wisdom to apply your previous knowledge of problem solving to new situations.
The ability to navigate difficulties and solve problems quickly is obviously advantageous. Yet is it not always so cut and dried. You have to figure out what caused the problem and, then consider the resources you need to solve it. However, the resources for doing so may not be immediately apparent. You have to figure out if you are seeking external resources or something deep within your intimate space. You need to determine if you should be working independently or collaboratively. Being resourceful also includes taking the initiative and being proactive in surveying a situation to prevent problems.
5. Be Courageous in Moving Forward
Courage is what propels you to face your fears to purse what you truly want in life, personally and professionally. Courage is not a supernatural power. It is right there when you need it for action. You have the courage to focus on what is possible. You have the courage to have staying power. You do have the courage to do hard things. You have the boldness to shift your focus to think about what you will gain by letting go of harmful things. Courage allows you to explore the unknown so that you are more prepared to deal with unexpected situations in life. Courage braces you to turn the page and add a new chapter to your story.
6. Be Coachable
Achievement is wrapped up in new learning and new experiences. You have to be willing to listen and learn from everyone. This includes how you receive feedback and what you do with it. Avoid resisting feedback even if it is from someone you do not like. Allow yourself to be surprised because you may find that the feedback you are most defensive about is the feedback you really need to be listening to. Think of feedback like a hat that you try on to see how it feels and looks. Experiment with the feedback to see how it fits on you or figure you if some aspect of the feedback can be helpful.
7. Be Wise with Every Step
Wisdom is more than knowledge. It is the application of knowledge in keeping with your “why” along with the sensitivity and judgment that comes from both your experience and perspective. Once you have thought strategically and planned well, what is left other than to take action. This is where the you set yourself apart from the "talkers" separate themselves from the talkers. Put your wisdom to good use or choose to seek the wisdom of others. Every goal you set and every step you take toward that goal should be considered a milestone that requires wisdom because you are deciding the direction your life will take.
8. Be persistent in pursuing your objective
Persistence is considered one of the most admirable qualities you can possess. It is more than a character trait. Persistence encompasses the set of skills that enable you to endure and overcome challenges and, regardless of any setbacks, remain determined to stick to your goals and plans until you have achieved what you aspired to do.
Flexible thinking allows
you to think about something in more than one way. It plays a key role in reducing anxiety, as well as not being overwhelmed or stifled by unpredictable circumstances in
your life or workplace.
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